California services for Sandra

Memorial Mass - Saturday, Oct 17, 10am at St. Joseph Church, 727 N. Minter, Santa Ana, CA.

Celebration of Life - Will be held in Pasadena following church service. Lunch will be served. Sharing of stories and your memories of Sandra are warmly welcomed.

In lieu of flowers/gifts, or simply when thinking of her - Please support Sandra's favorite organizations and causes (see below):

• www.kiva.org - Lend to a specific entrepreneur, empowering them to lift themselves out of poverty
• www.gildasclub.org - People learn to live with cancer, free of charge.
• www.mskcc.org - Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. Click "how to help," click "make a gift." Under "ways to donate" select "direct your gift to a specific area of research or treatment" then scroll through "select a fund" to ovarian cancer, then complete online form. Or, simply call 1(888) 675-4438 and direct gift to benefit ovarian cancer research or treatment.
• reduce, re-use, recycle daily
• support local agriculture, shop at your local farmer's market
• become an organ donor, blood donor, and blood platelet donor
  

Please attend the the celebration immediately following the service!
It will be held from 12 noon to 4, care of:
Sonja and Albert (not Alfred) Alarr
999 No. Madison Ave.
Pasadena, CA 91104

Transportation via bus will be provided for those who need it.

Thank you all so much!

Update on Sandra

An update to all of Sandra's dear friends and family. On June 12, 2009 cancer was found in Sandra's brain, lungs & liver. The months following were a debilitating whirlwind of brain surgery, chemo/radiation, transfer of care to Memorial Sloan Kettering, ultimately ending at Calvary Hospital for palliative care of advanced cancer patients. Sandra's fight was valiant and heroic to the very end. At 5:07am, on Saturday, October 3rd, in peace & surrounded by love, Sandra's body released her and forever freed her from human suffering and pain. She was blessed to receive constant love from all of you. Thank you for your beautiful words & tributes already left on facebook. I encourage you to read them all. With love and appreciation - Deanna, Louie, Sally & EJ

2 out of 3 ain't bad, but it ain't good either

so, this past week i had a brain mri and a ct scan of my torso to see where we were with this whole cancer thing. yesterday, ej, my family, and i met with my oncologist for the results. he started with the good news, "we found nothing in your brain." i had to laugh, but he didn't think it was funny. my lungs seem to be fine too. great! unfortunately, the cancer has been very busy growing in my liver. mr. oncologist refers to it as a tumor singular, but really, it's multiple growths.

this coming week we find out if radiation is a possibility. a change of chemo drugs is another possibility. and there's also some cutting edge mri/ultrasound procedure in boston that i may be a candidate for.

i need to take a break now. i'll try and blog a little more often than once a month. xoxo

my new perspective

the anger arrived yesterday.

up until then, i was grudgingly accepting that i had been recast in this role. resigned to take whatever steps i needed to do my part well. i still feel that way, but now it's colored with something else. somewhere on the way to radiation yesterday, i was surprised by the sudden anger glowing in my belly. not surprised that i was angry, but that it took so long to show up. i thought, this whole situation is stupid. these toxic treatments are ridiculous. i can't believe this is what my life is right now.

i don't believe that cancer is a punishment for something i did or didn't do, but yesterday, i did indulge in some "but i did everything right the first time!!" thinking.

today i have round two of chemo, followed by afternoon radiation. after an abbreviated chunk of solid sleep last night (it's more about quality than quantity these days), i'm feeling the useful side of anger. i had been struggling with dread about chemo because two weeks ago, the combo of chemo and radiation really did me in to the point that i felt brain surgery was a breeze compared to these treatments. i didn't want to repeat it, but now i can focus my beam of anger right on the cancer. "you wanna play dirty? fine. i am so ready, you nasty little points of darkness, sneaking and slinking into my organs. i've got poisons comin' right atcha, not to mention my beam of anger that sees all. i am ready for combat. send me in, coach. i'll use my fists of fury, mano a mano, you damned dirty cancer."

i'm putting on my war paint. i am rambo. i am sarah connor in "the terminator". i am simon pegg in "sean of the dead". gimme my bat, i'm ready.