Friday, August 22, 2008

bullet points of the last 24 hours

  • yesterday, i went for walk and was quite light-headed the entire time. today, i went for a longer walk and actually felt as if my feet were touching the sidewalk instead of floating three feet above it. yay for small improvements!
  • i've had headaches every afternoon for the last three days, but not today!
  • i've noticed that in those quiet moments when i'm resting my eyes, my mind is no longer obsessively going over scenes from my hospital stay. since i got home, my thoughts would always involuntarily flash back on the events from while i was a patient, trying to find some sense in a nonsensical time of my life. moments would play and replay in my head as i tried to work out what exactly happened to me. that's not happening anymore. so i guess that's progress!
  • this morning, i wrote out thank you cards for a few hospital staff members who were particularly kind to me. it seemed a little strange to try and compose what essentially amounted to: "Dear Dr. So-and-So, Thank you for saving my life. I really appreciate it. Best of luck to you. Sincerely, Sandra"
  • it looks like my next cycle of chemo on sept 4 will have to be paid out of pocket because medicaid won't be approved, if it's approved, until the end of september at the earliest. this means that i have to ask my family to help me cover it. i don't care for that at all. i've never had a lot of money, but i've also never ever had to ask my family for a loan. it's bad enough that they have to fork out money to fly out here just to be with me. ( it's very difficult for me to accept help, particularly of the money variety.) there's a lesson there somewhere. sigh.
  • on a happier note, my sister is here for the weekend!
  • lastly, every time i wash my hair, i'm half expecting handfuls to fall out. i washed my hair this morning. i still have hair!!