Monday, March 30, 2009

blue monday

sigh.
such a weird day.

here i have my health, i'm not in pain, i have a roof over my head and food to eat. so what is my problem? i've got plenty on my list of things to do; organizing, cleaning, exercising, blogging, emailing, and yet i can't get motivated to do anything constructive. i did make oatmeal this morning, but mostly i distracted myself by playing scramble on facebook while telling myself that i can think better while finding words amongst the random letters which is the whole point of scramble, but thinking better is only occasionally true and that makes me grouchy. so i stop, but i just feel gross. and ridiculous. and then i wait too long before eating lunch so i'm even grouchier. i couldn't even manage to shower. sheesh. even this post is making me cranky.

i don't have cancer anymore so why am i completely unmotivated? shouldn't i be joyous? i feel that since i'm able to be mobile, i should have more to show for today.

i don't want to talk to anyone. i don't want to do anything.
sigh.

tomorrow should be better. friggin' monday.

3 comments:

Sistah D said...

Ain't no shame in a total 'veg-out dia' We all have them (and need them) once in a while.

Guineapigmum said...

Stick in there. You've just described some of my days over the winter. As my cancer gets further behind me, though, I find those days are less and less frequent. There's sunshine on the way!

Timothy said...

OK, here're four things, although hopefully the mood's passed by now:
1) take five sheets of drawing paper and make some marks on each, then compare them and make some more marks; do this until you find "the answers."
2) get a silly parrot to drive you crazy (she will do her best to do so)
3) purchase "Civilization iv" online, download and play it.
4) go see Laufer's "End Days" at E.S.T. the cast is wonderful.