Wednesday, February 18, 2009

there may be hope yet

thank goodness i can have only one hysterectomy in my life.

i'm sure i've made this whole recovery experience more difficult because of my unrealistic expectations. for some reason, even though my oncologist told me 6-8 weeks, i didn't believe that it applied to me.

i cancelled this morning's acupuncture appointment. this made me sad, but i realized that it would be a big deal just to walk the three blocks to the subway station, much less actually get on the train and go into manhattan.

the good news is that there are small improvements in my recovery. for once, i won't go into graphic detail, but let's just say that the recovery seems to be moving forward, if at a snail's pace. and yay for naproxen! although the pain isn't completely gone, it is controlled and hopefully i will never have to visit the long list of possible side effects.

i've also become very efficient with movement. if i'm going to stand up and shuffle to the bathroom, you'd better believe that the trip will include grabbing the book i want to read, refilling my water glass, opening the curtains, putting on my favorite fuzzy jacket, and if i'm really ambitious, watering a plant or two. no sense in making them suffer just because i am.
sheesh. i sound bitter.

the truth is that even though i feel like an old lady who's been kicked in the stomach by a horse, there are many bright spots, if i just choose to see them. a care package from the vandewalles, a book on disc from deirdre, my mom's cooking last week and my sister visiting over the weekend, eggplant parmesan from skye, a musical card from hanna, beautiful homemade valentine wishes from tere and gabriel, an email from pat, and a phone call from joyce who was a stranger, but is now my friend. i get constant love and affection from ej. i also get comments on this blog and facebook from supportive friends and family (which i always read even if i never reply). and alfajores that transport me made by heidi and her tias.

gosh, when i start to pay attention, i realize i'm a very lucky girl. sorry, i've got a little something in my eye...


Sistah D said...

sniff sniff... me too!

gm cote` said...

..remember when we had the flu or chicken pox or some other more than 2 -3 day childhood affliction, we would give whichever lucky neighborhood kid a super sized fun pack of things to do. Each treat individually wrapped for more anticipation of surpize fun with each unwrapping - games, toys, puzzles, maybe a Tigerbeat Mag with Donny Osmond, Bobby Sherman or Leif Garret on the cover?
Ah to be covered in purple lesions and missing school. Nothing like it. P.S. It could be worse, you could have to sit for 45 minutes once a week in the cross fire of the smell & crunch of peanuts and raisins with a piano teacher.
heh heh ~ Rosewood Flats

Kris said...

I didn't listen either and it was more like 9 - 10 weeks until I felt normal again. But normal does return and there are things to be greatful for - sometimes only revealed to one after a good session of whining and moaning. Remember my friend, that they not only took things out and away, but they took things out and "checked" them thoroughly before returning them to their place, and that takes time to heal as well. Smile, you have many blessings and so many who love and cheer you on. I'm one of them!