Friday, September 19, 2008

me and my chemo brain

so, there is a side effect of chemotherapy called "chemo brain". this is when the drugs from chemo make it difficult to focus, remember things, or multitask. other than the occasional word accidentally omitted from an email, i figured i was doing alright. most of my life, i've been challenged by my short-reaching memory, so i figured, really, how much worse could it get? do you see where this is going?

on wednesday, i was standing in line at a produce stand at the union square farmer's market. as i was waiting my turn to pay for some beautiful chiles, i was catching up with my sister on the phone. when i reached the cashier, i asked my sister to hold for a moment. i paid for the chiles, put my change in my wallet, got out of the way of the other customers (it was a very popular stand) and was feeling like quite the functioning part of society. as i walked through the rest of the market with ej and my mom, i enjoyed the sunshine on my face and the cool breeze blowing through the stubble on my head. what a beautiful day. then i realized that for some reason, i was carrying my cell phone in my hand. there was no one on the other end. that was weird. i put it in my purse as we decided that it was time for lunch. fast forward to the three of us sitting at a table at a lovely korean restaurant on 13th street. the window was wide open, lush plants decorated the room, the anticipation of a good lunch hung in the air. gosh, it was good to be out!

and then it hit me. at least half an hour must've passed from the moment i bought the chiles to the moment i remembered that i had been in mid-conversation with my sister when my mind decided to walk away. i never even had the nagging feeling that i'd forgotten something. not once! after lunch, i called my sister to apologize and she laughed it off.

sheesh. pretty soon, anytime i leave the apartment, they're going to have to pin a note to my shirt saying, "my name is sandra. if found, please return to...".

3 comments:

jessie said...

yes, but how was lunch? and what kind of chiles? let's not forget what's really important. xoxoxommmmm

Shane said...

Hmn. Sounds like an average day in the life and times of yours truly. More often than not I arrive before I get there and I leave before I've left. It's the strangest thing. And I ain't even got "chemo brain". That said, you're doin' pretty damned good under the circumstances. Keep up the good work.

elvinstreak said...

as you face the challenges with aplomb, know that brain fade makes you better ...

may the ghosts be with you!